Posted by nerdpulse | 8:34 AM | 0 comments »

Picture of aforementioned snow in my work's parking lot. :(

Global warming my arse

Posted by nerdpulse | 8:25 AM | 0 comments »

Snowing again...and sticking. So it hasn't snowed this much up here in all the years I've lived here, I was under the impression that the globe was heating up?

Meh. I'm over this crap already.

WTF kind of car is this?

Posted by nerdpulse | 8:59 AM | 0 comments »

I was on my way home from the gym the other night and I saw this thing driving down the street. So, with a blatant disregard for public safety, I snapped a photo of it as I drove by, managing to keep the truck in one lane. Don't mind the blurriness, and yes, those are crackers on my dash.

Anyway, what the hell is this thing? Looks like a smart car had sex with a tractor or something.

You tell me!

Man this should be a fun game to watch.  ESPN has CLE as the favorite, 58% to 42%.

Key players:

First and foremost, King James. He's going to score, definitely, but will he bring the MVP or the spot up jump shooter who pounds the air out of the ball?

Brandon Roy: he's been having a hard time scoring the last couple games, will he snap out of it tonight?

Mo Williams: this guy's my x factor tonight. We know Lebron's going for 30, but can we limit the little guy's offense? Portland's defense isn't exactly stingy with scoring point guards. However, with the emergence of Jerryd Bayless, it might be a different story.

A Tale Of Two Odens: he's a rookie, he's gonna be inconsistent. If we get the version that played vs the Milwaukee Male Deer, we've got a good shot. More likely Greg gets in foul trouble early because of Sideshow Rob's flailing dervish act and Big Ben's D.

Rebounding is also key. If Portland can get offensive rebounds, we'll have a good shot at winning this game.

We'll see what happens!


Posted by nerdpulse | 12:00 PM | 0 comments »

I'm currently standing outside my work waiting for Arturo's Taco Truck to make my lunch. A tow truck driver goes by, trolling the parking lot for cars without a parking permit. We make eye contact. I flash back to last year.....

So, my first day at a new job. Guess what happens? I get called away from orientation because my truck is getting towed. I look great to my employer, obviously, as I jump up, run out and try to save myself from tow charges.

I get to the security desk and the security guard, (can't remember his name, but thank god for him) is down there telling this asshole tow truck driver who looks like Tick-Tock of Oz only with sweat stains that I was a new employee and hadn't received the guidelines for the parking lot.

So Fat-Shit McDoucheface says to me, "You better learn where to park, I had your truck up in the air before he stopped me."

What I wanted to say was, "Go eff yourself you fat ass bag of dicks." What I ended up saying, being my first day and all, was, "Sorry, I didn't know."

These are the types of things that drive me insane. Every person who's ever gone postal and shot up their workplace has probably had an encounter with a tow truck driver earlier in the day.

Since then he's left little written warnings on my truck twice. One was for parking too close to the next spot...not over the line, just too close, and the other warning was for parking backwards. If you're in a row of double parking spots like in this ascii diagram:
Don't you pull forward into the one in front of you if it's empty? Yeah, Fatty Bag O' Dicks wrote me a warning for that.

So, in summary, tow truck drivers pretty much suck.


Posted by nerdpulse | 9:59 AM | 0 comments »

I'm really trying to take last night's game with a grain of salt, but it was exciting to see GO come alive last night versus the Milwaukee Male Deers.

He was rebounding like Dwight Howard, had the energy of Allen Iverson, the savvy of Phoenix Shaq and the dunking ferocity of Orlando Shaq. Combine that with the youthful good looks of Old Man Time and you've got an All Star in the making!

I know that Milwaukee didn't have their center and they were very undersized, but was some exciting stuff.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Oden can stay healthy and continue to build on last night's momentum.

These things look pretty good I guess. The blue one reminds me of a Utah Jazz uni though. Hopefully we'll get to see Brandon Roy in one of the West unis this year.

I'm not sure why they went with the futuristic design. Is there something about Phoenix that we don't know? Have they mastered time travel? Are we going to see Dr. J, Magic, and MJ take on Kobe, Superman and Lebron?

Tune in All Star weekend to find out.


Posted by nerdpulse | 7:41 AM | 2 comments »

I think, today, on the day of the inaguration of our 44th president, the foremost question on most people's minds is this: Can our new president dunk?

This issue weighs heavily on the American public. What better way to settle a dispute between warring countries than a quick game of one-on-one?

I would love nothing more than to see President Obama crossover, jab-step, then blow by Kim Jong-Il for a nasty teabagging rim rocker.

Imagine a world where a political summit included a charity game including the likes of Jessica Alba, Jack Nicholson, Snoop Dogg, Jessica Biel, and Justin Timberlake sitting on the sidelines cheering on.

Border dispute? That's a game of 21. Imagine Russian President Medvedev playing some Euro style hoops versus Obama's hard nosed Eastern Conference style defense.

This, my friends, is a great day, for basketball.


Posted by nerdpulse | 8:18 AM | 0 comments »

Say it ain't so. According to an Australian news site, the 'stache is making a comeback on the heels of several Hollywood stars sporting them.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Magnum P.I. too, but unless you're Brad Pitt, Tom Selleck, or Chuck Norris, chances are your 'stache is more Ned Flanders than the Beastie Boys in the Sabotage video.

I really don't understand the current trend of the 80's making a comeback. I was there, the 80's were quite possibly the gayest era ever. Hairspray, legwarmers, leotards? All making a comeback.

The 70's at least had good music. Led Zeppelin, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Steve Miller Band, Blue Oyster Cult...what did the 80's have? Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Olivia Newton John. Talking F***ing Heads.

Remember those retarded sunglasses they had that were slotted plastic instead of actual tinted lenses? I saw a kid wearing those the other day, strutting like he was soooo awesome, while simultaneously looking like a complete and utter tool.

Oh well, what can you do?

Get off my lawn.


Posted by nerdpulse | 5:38 PM | 0 comments »

According to a report in the NY Post, Knicks center Eddy Curry has been slapped with a sexual harassment lawsuit by a former employee.

His former driver states that Curry (listed at 6'11" and a shockingly inaccurate 285 lbs) harassed former driver David Kuchinsky on several occasions, approaching him in the nude and telling him, "Look at me, Dave, look" and "Come and touch it, Dave."

The chauffeur also accused Curry of hurling several racial slurs at him, which we won't name here.

In an absolutely unsurprising statement, Curry's lawyer states the allegations are "absolutely untrue."


Posted by nerdpulse | 12:11 PM | 0 comments »

So, the Grizz re-signed Darius Miles. It was only a matter of time I suppose.

As a Blazer fan this disappoints me, but what can you do. Larry Miller and his now famous email threatening to sue any team who signs Darius with bad intentions toward the Blazers' cap have to be disappointed as well.

I understand the reasoning for the email, I just don't understand the lack of forethought. I know they wanted to make it clear that they didn't want someone wrecking their salary cap out of spite, but I'm not a lawyer and I could tell you it's going to be nearly impossible to prove that someone signed a player out of malice towards your salary cap.

All it takes is for the defense to say: "We like what Darius Miles brings to our team as a player." Discussion over. There is no way a judge, the NBA, or the NBPA is going to allow Portland to sue one of their partners for hiring a qualified employee.

It was a poorly executed bluff which gave the new darlings of the NBA a black eye. Lately Blazers management has done everything right, so I forgive them this once.

Next time, think before sending out that email. I know it's a lot of money, but it didn't stop anybody.

On a side note: Darius Miles is a douchebag. The whole time he was "rehabbing" here in Portland, he spent the majority of his time smoking, drinking, and going to strip clubs. Were I a team owner I wouldn't touch his cancerous behind with a ten foot pole.


Posted by nerdpulse | 8:32 AM | 0 comments »

Don't get me wrong. I like Sir Charles. To me, he's the only reason to watch "Inside The NBA" on TNT. I'm damn sure no one would watch that show just for Ernie Johnson.

Myself, I like to watch Chuck heckle EJ, Kenny, the viewers, etc.

I enjoy watching his take on games (he really doesn't care what people think, if he thinks a team sucks, he says they suck.) and his take on players. (I.E. "Lattrell Sprewell is a knucklehead!")

Unfortunately, the thing you love about Sir Charles is the same thing which is causing him to take a leave of absence from TNT's show.

After being pulled over last week for running a stop sign, the Round Mound Of Profound was quoted as saying the reason he was speeding was that he was "in a hurry to pick up a girl that gave me a *UNDERCARRIAGE BUFFING* last week" and that "it was the best one I  have ever had." Hey, at least he's honest. We love him for that, right?

Who wouldn't be speeding if they knew the best beej they'd ever gotten in their life was waiting for them around the corner? You?

Problem is, he was drunk. As a man, I have no problem with driving recklessly because you're in a hurry to get some killer jawbone.

Unfortunately he was drunk, which I do have a problem with.

So, Sir Charles, your credibility is kind of shot with me now. Next time you talk about Lattrell Sprewell getting his yacht repossessed and how he's a knucklehead, the only thought going through my head will be: "At least he didn't get pulled over for driving drunk while on his way to get his **PHONE TALKED ON**"

Way to go Chuck.

Who's your favorite James Bond?

Posted by nerdpulse | 4:54 PM | 1 comments »

This is sure to be a discussion that's never been had before.

Who was the best James Bond?

1)  I have to go with Sean Connery. Not because his movies are better or because he was the coolest, but because he was the first.

Without him, we wouldn't have the charming, tuxedo-wearing, martini-swilling, henchman-slaying, cocky, debonair lady's man portrayed in all 30-some-odd movies.

All the mannerisms and behavior originated with Sean Connery's interpretation of the famed British spy.

Who is MY favorite?

Daniel Craig hands down. Lots of people will disagree, but those who "get" the new JB movies will understand. He's just so damn cool. I think I might have a non-gay man crush on him.

Worst James Bond?

Roger Moore. Wooden-acting, hairy-backed, cheesy-delivering douchebag. Worst. Bond. Ever.

Hottest Bond Girl?

Anyone who knows me knows the answer to this. Halle Berry.

Who do you guys like?

Test post

Posted by nerdpulse | 4:08 PM | 0 comments »

Trying out posting via email from my G1. Welcome to those who have been involuntarily added to my post update list. I'm sure you're grateful. :)

Has anyone else noticed that when someone posts an emoticon heart <3 it looks like a pointy penis and balls? Just saying. Maybe I'm just a Freudian wet dream.