Achtung Smokers:

If you cough, like for no reason, all day, you might want to quit smoking.

 

If you are a woman, but sound like Sam Elliot, you might want to quit smoking.

 

If you have to hack and spit up loogies constantly, you might want to quit smoking.

 

If you have to go outside once an hour because you're jonesing, you might want to quit smoking.

 

If you have recently had to decide whether to buy groceries or cigarettes, you might want to quit smoking.

 

 

As an ex-smoker, I get it. I enjoyed smoking for years. But as someone who quit and knows that with a few days of willpower you can quit as well, I don't have any sympathy.

 

This goes out to the tuberculosis ward that sits around me at work. The woman that sounds like George Carlin, the guy that is constantly trying to hawk up loogies, the other guy that leaves his desk every half hour so he can smoke. You should all consider some Nicoderm, Nicorette, or NicoSTFU.