The first Black Friday sale.

Sooo....Thanksgiving was good. Food was good. What's not good is that I have slept about 12 hours this week.

Thanks to my shit-ass job I was crabby the whole day. Why my job? They're making me work the day after Thanksgiving, so we literally had to drive for 3 hours the night before, arriving at my sister's at 1am. Then we had to drive home after eating all that turkey so I could go to bed early in order to work the next day.

So...when we got to my sister's we crashed out on an air mattress (which she was kind enough to provide, thank you!) but it jacked my back up. Add to this the fact that my wife is fighting with the dog to get it to lay down, and you have a recipe for insomnia.

It's all good though because once I got into a deep sleep, she woke me up to inform me I was snoring. There goes that attempt at sleep.

So I was a crabby bitch all day. I apologize.

On the way home, we see a traffic marquee that says, "HEAVY CONGESTION IN WOODBURN, USE LEFT LANE FOR THROUGH TRAFFIC". There are outlet stores for many high profile chain stores in Woodburn, so we figured they must have been some type of event going on.

About 5 miles from Woodburn, we see the rotating spotlights shining into the sky like it's a 1940's Hollywood movie premiere or soemthing. About a mile from Woodburn, traffic starts slowing.

The right lane is completely stopped. They're all trying to get off the freeway to get to the outlet stores, which are open. At 10pm THANKSGIVING NIGHT.

The southbound side of the freeway was backed up for MILES. Probably about 5 miles or so. That's 4 lanes of traffic, stopped. All because these retards want to get a few bucks off some stuff.

That Black Friday crap has gotten out of hand.

Anyway, we get home around 10:30pm last night. Overnight, my email inbox gets a fresh, steaming pile of emails advertising ULTRA LOW BLACK FRIDAY PRICES. I'll admit, I checked them out. I even ordered something.

But that's the thing: Do you think companies can afford to sell all this shit as a loss? No, they sell "loss leaders" to get you in the door so you'll buy other shit too. In order for Black Friday to be a good deal for you, you have to be a ninja. Get in there, get the loss leader, then bail. Don't let them upsell you on the heated socks. It's not a good deal if you get a new HDTV for $400 and end up buying $1000 in cables and blu ray players.

So, since they're making me work today, I'm typing up a lengthy blog entry on my employer's dime. Take that motherf*ckers.

Oh and one more thing. My boss, of "You have to work the Friday after Thanksgiving" fame? She called out sick today. I hate you so much. Fuck you.


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